Friday, August 10, 2012

Waiting Till That Day

So there is something I have been wanting to put into writing for a long time. About a year or so ago I made a commitment to God that I would not kiss another guy until my wedding day, and to not say I love you until I know it is the person I know God has for me to marry. I know it is one of those crazy even "radical"  sounding commitments. I have had lots of support in my commitment, but also lots of discouragement and lots of sneering from people. Some people think I am just trying to be this perfect Christian girl and that I am just so pure and have never done anything wrong so they either put me on this "pedestal" or they look down on me, because they don't have the same convictions. I want to clear the air as to why I did this.

I am a very emotional and physical being by nature. I thrive on hugs and being encouraged. When I have dated I love all the handholding, sweet kisses, being told sweet things, being told "I love you",and spending time with my sweetheart. Unfortunately over the years I have given away more and more of my heart than I would like to admit. I have only dated a few guys, but I put my whole self into every one of those relationships without guarding my precious heart. Finally one day God really got a hold of my heart.

I realized why all these sweet things I loved and thrived on so much in my relationships were all good, but ONLY when the timing was right, and this timing is when I am married someday. I had found an old note a lady at my church had given me a year or so before and reread it with new eyes.

(on the front where it was folded)

God gives the best to those who leave the choice with him.

(on the inside)

Ellen,

You are God's beautiful precious rosebud. You were created to be a helpmate to one very lucky man- His precious rose. Don't give your petals away- He is worth waiting for. I remember vividly my struggles.

See you tuesday,

You are in my prayers,

T. B.

live with no regrets so that God can bless you even more abundantly beyond what you could ask or think.

Are you being faithful to your husband now?


 At that moment after reading that God gave me a choice to protect my heart and protect my previous commitment of staying pure till I got married, or keep living the way I was and end up with a tattered heart and a broken commitment. It really hit me hard. I had always wanted to give my husband everything, my whole heart and whole self. I wanted to look him in the eye and say "I have been faithful to you all the days of my life"( like it says in Proverbs 31:12 "She brings him good, not harm ALL the days of her life.").  Unfortunately at this point I was headed down a path that would not be so. I decided to make the hard choice and abstain from kissing until my wedding day, and not tell any other man that I love him until I know that he is the man God had for me.

I wish I could say I haven't struggled and its been easy but it hasn't. It has been really hard, but I have made it and will continue to only by the grace of God. He renews my mind, body and spirit everyday. Resting and abiding in him and his word is the only way I can have success.

I also want you to know it is ok if God has not given you the same conviction. It doesn't make you less "holy" , or dirty or anything like that. It doesn't mean I am better than you or have it all together. I don't. God gives us all convictions to abstain from certain things for a time or forever. Just because a fellow Christian feels God wanting them to do something doesn't mean you have to too. Paul states in Romans 14:5-12: "One person considers one day more sacred than another; another considers every day alike. Each of them should be fully convinced in their own mind. Whoever regards one day as special does so to the Lord. Whoever eats meat does so to the Lord, for they give thanks to God; and whoever abstains does so to the Lord and gives thanks to God. For none of us lives for ourselves alone, and none of us dies for ourselves alone.  If we live, we live for the Lord; and if we die, we die for the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord. For this very reason, Christ died and returned to life so that he might be the Lord of both the dead and the living.You, then, why do you judge your brother or sister? Or why do you treat them with contempt? For we will all stand before God’s judgment seat. It is written:“‘As surely as I live,’ says the Lord,‘every knee will bow before me; every tongue will acknowledge God.’”So then, each of us will give an account of ourselves to God."

What does this mean? Well in context of the scripture different Christians in Paul's time were going around and judging one another, because some Christians did not want to eat the meat from the market place that had come from idol sacrifices and some felt that it was no big deal and was just meat. Similarly, some made no distinction between more and less sacred days, regarding every day as “holy to the Lord;” others felt that some days were holier than others.  Neither were wrong, because both were doing what they did to honor God. God has called each of us to certain convictions that not every Christian is going to do the same as another and that is OK. Whatever it is though be cautious and make sure you are doing it to honor God and God alone!!! In whatever you do Live your life for God for our lives are not our own.


Blessings :D